Inadequate Me

I just know I could never be that drop-dead gorgeous creature always depicted in magazines and romance novels. Others may attribute it to genetics but I suppose, part of it is also fate. Why would Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes for instance end up with each other to produce Suri Cruise? Isn’t sophisticated Nicole supposed to have been the pinnacle of his woman-searching endeavor? And yet, there they are, the way my parents ended up with each other (and not with someone who has a Latin or French descent)……And there I was, kicking and screaming (probably realizing even at birth that I would have wanted to look just a little bit like Angelina Jolie).

 

I don’t know why I’m even entertaining this line of thought. Perhaps because of what I have seen from the facebook account of one of my favorite persons. Why are men (with great looks and talent) always surrounded by pretty, porcelain-skinned women with an attractive amount of cleavage strategically shown off for added allure? For once I’d really love to see them clinging to someone less acceptable than I am in looks. At least, I’d know there’s justice in this world. And there’s hope.

I suppose there really is no shame in revealing this weak spot within me. One good friend would probably turn over from her self-absorption and gladly point out that I have redeeming traits others can only wish for, in their dreams. I don’t think though it’s a sin to ever put a stoplight to the passing thought that I would have been better off with a lighter complexion, a well-endowed bust line, thinner lips, seductive eyes (or something) and a figure “to die for” and could set tongues wagging.

At this point, I’d probably be bombarded with unsolicited remarks of how I should be thankful for what I am blessed with and shouldn’t be envious of what others have. Believe it or not, I do, most of the time. But for once, I am giving in to the temptation. I am waving that flag of surrender. I am vulnerable.

So what? Tomorrow, I’ll be good as new. Accepting the person that I am. Loving it more than ever. Thanking God for the wisdom to realize that in this part of my universe, I am blessed beyond what I can hope for. That I am beautiful and sexy in the eyes of the dogs I feed every morning.

For now, let me wallow in my self-imposed despondency.