A Rainbow after the Storm

Two days ago, I was happily waiting for my turn to pay off a great buy at a department store when I suddenly felt a sense of panic I have never felt before. I couldn’t find my ATM Card in my bag or in my wallet. Suddenly, a montage of images flashed and with it, the utter realization that earlier, I withdrew half the amount of my salary for the last 15 days of the month – and failed to retrieve my Card from the machine.

My first instinct was to go to where the AT Machine was but common sense prevailed. I had left the area for more than 30 minutes already and considering that there was a guy who was standing in line next to me when I left, I am sure he must have found the card and taken it already. Nevertheless, I went there – merely to confirm the glaring fact that my ATM Card is lost for good.

I felt deflated. I just didn’t know what came over me – why I forgot to retrieve the card. For one, the guy behind me acted restless and so I was probably in a rush to let him take over. After all, I had finished my transaction – and as per the usual procedure with most ATMachines, my card should have been automatically ejected by the machine already – even before I got the cash and receipt out. That was what I was thinking actually: that I already had the card in my possession. Still, it was a lame excuse on my part to blame how the machine works. My negligence was the proximate cause of the whole incident and I must pay for the consequences.

It just got me thinking how I was suddenly thrown out of my comfort zone that I wanted to lash out at someone. In my mind, I asked God why it happened to me. Have I not been appreciative of my blessings? Have I not been generous to my family and friends? I keep reminding myself that at least, I only have to face the possibility of losing a certain amount of money. Not my life – or that of my loved-ones. To aggravate my anxiety, I would have no way of checking out my balance till tomorrow (Monday) as the bank doesn’t have a system for that after office hours and on weekends.  Friends tell me that if the guy took my money, then he could have been someone in need - and I was his unfortunate angel at that moment in time…

Last night though, I began treading along a different path. What if the guy was honest enough to remove my card without withdrawing my remaining balance – but was not able to find where I went so that he has no choice at all but to keep it and hope that I’d have the sense to report the loss immediately to protect my account? Why was I so quick to assume that he would choose to do evil than good when I don’t even know who he is? Isn’t it that my faith is strong enough to believe that God can take over any situation, including this incident – and could have subliminally whispered to that person to do away with doing harm to another? All along, I was letting the whole incident paralyze my good faith and taken to accepting the worst that could happen. Where is hope? Where is faith? Don’t I know the goodness and love of God that I would automatically embrace the conviction that He’d let me lose this much hard-earned money? Wasn’t my employment a gift from Him in the first place? Therefore, His love will protect me. His power will wipe away my worst fears.

And so today – I woke up holding on to hope. Hope that tomorrow, everything that I feared all along would not happen. Hope that there are still more people with a kind heart, than those corrupted by love of money. Hope that I’ll be seeing my initial fretfulness to be actually for naught.

If there’s one great lesson I may have to learn from this experience – it’s simply to keep my faith. Negligence can take over us at the most unguarded moments and we just have to face its consequences. On my part – the hassle of applying for a new ATM Card and waiting two weeks before I can use it for my transactions. Holding on to my faith however is another matter. There’s just no excuse for letting it go and commit this spiritual lapse. I am blessed enough to know that no serious harm can befall me no matter what. And so I must believe. Believe in the innate goodness of my fellow beings. Believe in the love of God and His power. I just know the sun will come up tomorrow.